Adoption: ‘We seem to have to fight for everything’


africa Airline AirlineFood & Beverage AirlineTechnology AirlineTechnologyOrganisations & Operators AirlineTourism Amal Clooney will represent Maria Ressa of Rappler – CNN architecture arts asia business Can overtourism be stopped? Yes — here's how it's being done – CNN Can you provide me with comprehensive start-to-end service Cruise Dafydd Jones' 'The Last Hurrah': Vintage photos of British elites – CNN Denise Ho of Hong Kong interrupted by China during UN speech – CNN design DO lock your doors Do try to see things as a criminal would Do your employees have police checks? europe Famous logos with hidden designs – can you spot them? – CNN foodanddrink Four teens rush into a burning home from sales to installation? He got into trouble for fighting as a kid. Now his boxing program is helping students stay on the right path. – CNN Hotel How long until Hyperloop is here? – CNN How much experience do you have? Meet Instagram's Paul the Cat Guy – CNN Plane spotting at Mai Khao Beach in Phuket politics saving the life of a 90-year-old neighbor – CNN Thailand: How safe is it? – CNN TourismOrganisations & Operators travel travel article travel news UK's 'biggest modern slavery network had 400 victims' – CNN UK anti-abortion protests: The fight back against 'Americanized' anti-abortion demonstrations – CNN us US approves major arms sale to Taiwan amid trade tensions with Beijing – CNNPolitics What Questions Should I Ask When Selecting a Security Door Company? What warranties are offered with your security doors? World's 50 best restaurants 2019 — and Mirazur in France is No. 1 – CNN


Ryan (R)

Image caption

Ryan has post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and attachment issues

“Last night he was kicking us, hitting us, thumping, spitting,” says Diane, mother of nine-year-old Ryan. “Every swear word in the book came out.”

Ryan was adopted at age three after two years in foster care after he was removed from his abusive family home.

Diane says his behaviour is him “trying to cope with what’s been done to him”.

But their experience is not uncommon, with 65% of parents surveyed by Adoption UK saying their child had been aggressive or violent towards them.

Diane is one of 3,500 families interviewed by the charity for its first comprehensive “stock-take” of the experiences of adoptive families and their children across the UK in a single year (2018).

The charity’s Adoption Barometer finds that 56% of established adoptive families are facing significant or extreme challenges and 70% feel it is a continual struggle to get the help and support their child needs.

Furthermore, 80% of respondents felt their child needed more support in school than their peers.

Diane says she has not felt properly supported in helping Ryan with his post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and attachment issues – and even lodged a complaint against her local authority.

“We seem to have to fight for everything,” she told BBC News.

“Nobody really cares, it’s like, ‘You adopted these kids, you knew it wouldn’t be straightforward,’ but I don’t think we were warned enough about the issues.

“We’re just left to deal with it, because no-one’s got the answer.

“These kids have been through hell and we need to help them come to terms with what’s happened.

Image caption

Diane says she has no regrets and will keep fighting for Ryan

“These children have done nothing wrong – it’s other people’s fault, it’s them who have caused their issues and yet they’re the ones left to cope with it all.”

There are about 55,000 adoptive families in the UK. More than 4,500 children were adopted in the UK during the year ending March 2018.

Adoption UK says most adopted children will have experienced abuse or neglect.

The charity’s report suggests 39% of adopted 16- to 25-year-olds were involved with mental health services during 2018.

And nearly three-quarters of parents of adopted 16- to 25-year-olds surveyed by Adoption UK said they would need “significant ongoing support” to live independently.

Image shows girl holding up a drawing of a family


Adoption: Key statistics

  • 27%of new adopters wanted more information about their child

  • 70% struggle to get the help and support their child needs

  • 79%would encourage others to consider adoption

Source: Adoption UK

Report author Becky Brooks said: “These are strong and optimistic families, improving the life chances of some of the UK’s most complex and vulnerable children.

“But for too many families, getting support to help their children overcome their tough start in life is like fighting a losing battle.”

Minister for Children and Families Nadhim Zahawi said adopted children were given top priority in school admissions and benefited from the support of designated teachers and pupil premium funding.

“We also invested £120m in the Adoption Support Fund which provides therapeutic support to adoptive families from the point at which the child is placed with them,” he said.

Most of the adoptive parents surveyed remained optimistic about their family’s future, however, and 79% said they would encourage others to consider adoption.

Despite all the difficulties, Diane says, she and her husband have no regrets about adopting Ryan.

“In the bleakest times you wonder, ‘Did we get this right?’ Yes, totally. He’s got us to fight for him now.

“He’s my cub and I’m his lioness and I will fight for him, because he deserves it.

“It’s not his fault – he was just born to the wrong family.”

Names have been changed by Adoption UK to protect Diane and her family.


Source link

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *